Laugh Often....Love Much

As many of you know, I've spent a decade and a half devoted to recreational horseback riding and bringing the love I have for it to others.  What many people don't know is that in 2000, we offered our first therapy classes.  I began giving recreational therapy lessons to 2 sisters who had been emotionally banged up by their dad.  Court ordered riding lessons paid for by the father through the court.

What many people don't know is that my history with recreational therapy started even earlier than that......in 1992 when I was the special camp programs coordinator for a Parks and Rec Dept. in the town where Mr. P & I were going to college.  He stayed home with Kt-did while I spent my summer making creating inclusive activities for special needs kiddos.  It was one of my favorite summers on record.  The day a child with DS got into the pool and some "townie kids" starting calling him names, the campers rallied around him, I knew recreational therapy was something I would have a future in.

Rec Th. helps not just kids who are having problems but gives those who are facing the every day stresses of growing up an outlet.  I loved it but because of the nature of handling horses, it was not a free for all.  There were rules and as long as you followed the rules, the recreation part came easily.  For the kids who had to challenge it, thinking somehow that recreation meant they got to call the shots.

I've been called some pretty awful things by disgruntled kids and parents.  It's ok.  I understand that they fear confrontation.  Funny thing, for those who left our ranch without stiffing us on board, training fees, unpaid camp or lesson tuition, or left us holding a vet or farrier bill we fronted for them.......for those parents, there was not a confrontation.  I remember a kiddo who did not want to leave but the parents wanted their horse closer.  They came to me 2 months before their move and asked if I could help them find the right place.  They paid me...UPFRONT....for the next two months board and lessons.  I busted my butt interviewing nearly 11 barns for them and finally they went to a barn where I could continue to teach their child for awhile.  This EXACT scenario happened not once, not twice, but several times.

I remember taking one of my student's horses home for them.  We spent months prepping and then once the horses were home, I continued as this kiddo's trainer for nearly a year.  There always comes a time when a student no longer needs you and I left with a hug.  Four years after I walked away, this family called me asking how to help their horse.....they didn't know who else to call......and they knew I would return the call and drive out in the middle of the night to help if need be.

I have driven to Ohio, Florida, North Carolina, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Illinois, Tennessee, and Kentucky to deliver students their horses when they have moved away.  Let's not even discuss how many trips I've made to some of the craziest locations to get a rider the perfect horse at a hell of a deal.

I have given horses away to children whose families could not afford them.  I have given thousands away in training and covering months when parents could not afford their horses' board.  I've paid vet bills out of pocket so a horse would not die only to have the family move their horse away in the middle of the night.

I've been accused of some pretty heinous things which are just standard operating procedures in the boarding world......mostly because I got tired of people taking advantage of me wanting to help their kiddos.  I've been called "scary", "mean", and "hateful" as well as accused of "stealing horses".  For the record, in the Great State of Missouri, if you don't pay your horse related bills when boarding, legally the person boarding the horse can sell the horse to cover expenses.  I have also been accused of "stealing" a horse when I was kind enough to give a student a payment plan and they just quit paying for the horse.  I had a student take a horse out of state when they had not finished paying for her.  Thank God my father found her before they killed her.  It was really amusing that she called me saying I'd be arrested for "moving stolen property across state lines" when I drove out of state to bring her home.  Sadly, she ended up being put down due to the horrific injuries she sustained while in the woman's care & her mind was blown.

Where am I going with this?  A dear friend and former student of mine told me "you are too nice.  You need to be meaner." (Huh? I thought I was mean, scary and hateful).  She always supported me when I had to stick to my guns concerning policies and especially money.

I have to ask any of my former students who are reading this:  where do you think the money came from when someone did not pay me for the board, lease, or vet supplies/visits etc???

Out of my pocket.

But that was okay I suppose.  I remember helping a kiddo get out from underneath a $300 promissory note for a horse because the horse had colicked.  He was thin when we picked him up but we had no idea the extent of his internal damage.  He had a prolapsed anus and ulcers from acorns he ate while being starved.  I paid for all the vet bills:  diagnostics running nearly $600.  I paid for the animal's euthanasia and personally drove the horse to the renderer using my own gas.  I even gave the kid a new horse.  How did this family thank me?  Let's just say they never did.  They never said "thank you" and just a few short weeks ago, the mother referred to me as "a monster".

Again.....where am I going?
To this point right here......because I believe in the validity of recreational therapy, equine therapy, and refuse to allow being kicked in the teeth change my nature.  I may be a hard ass when it comes to rules.  I may not back down when I've been financially abused for months & decide not to take it anymore.  But I also believe in not taking out my frustration with others on kids who come to me asking for help or who I see needing help.

In July when we closed our ranch, I could have easily sold two of our horses for over $1k each.  EASILY.  Instead, I gave them to a friend of Caroline's.  We wrote up the receipt.  The only hitch, if this family cannot keep them, they come back to us.

The 1st horse, I paid over $2500 to have shipped to us for our drill team.  She came off a slaughter truck and people chipped in to save her..........only to have no one want to pay her fees.  The decision by those who paid to have her pulled off a truck that she would be happy with us.  When Honkytonk died, this mare was to replace him.  But.....The young man shown with her wanted to learn about horses and wanted one really badly.  She could have brought us a nice chunk of change but instead, we gave her to a kid who needed her.  And loves her.

Her success has been shared over 2000 miles away

People across the country are cheering that this horse is with this kid.

She looks happy & healthy.

So the mare was not alone, we sent Joker along.

We even sent feed for the 1st few weeks.

And have asked nothing in return...........

other than for the horses to come back if they cannot ever keep them

I know there are some people who wonder why I didn't sell these horses, especially when I was out of work, the ranch was closed, and hay prices were on the rise.  I can't explain it.

It's the same reason why I gave this horse to a kiddo I barely knew.  He NEEDED a drill horse and this horse had been given to me specifically for a kid who needed a drill horse.  I was told this horse could be given to any child who needed the horse as long as the horse was used for drill and if the horse could not be used by the child, he came back to me and I would make sure he either stayed with me or was sent back to his owner.  When I made the decision to send this horse to the kiddo who now has him, I again was some kind of beast.  Apparently, someone else at my ranch had laid claim to this horse.........though they had other horses.........and I somehow "cheated them" out of this animal.  Worse even still, I apparently did it on purpose to hurt them.  Not true, our drill team had disbanded and I gave his previous owner my word that Tamale would be used by a child who needed him for drill.  I kept my promise to her & I am glad I did.  He is thriving in his new home and his owner was a perfect fit for him.  I am pretty sure he doesn't think I'm evil.

Just like the old adage "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", when it comes to a person's motives for any action, how someone views another is colored by their own character.  It's easy to blame someone else for your own actions.

I may not be running a ranch anymore and the horses we have left are going no where.  But the same idea of giving and offering help........genuinely offering...........is in my nature.  I'm not going to let anyone take that part of who I am away.  Maybe I'm stupid for it.  Maybe I am a fool.

But maybe....just maybe....I'm getting the last laugh...........because for every person who left unhappy, stiffing us on board, or whatnot........they left with skills they would not have if it had not been for my expertise and knowledge.

For those who have a horse under their saddle.........a horse I brokered or found for them, gave to them, sold to them, trained for them.....the last laugh lies in knowing they would not have that horse if it were not for me............

I hope this doesn't sound bitter....it's not meant to.
I'm happy.  Happier now than ever.
I have joy when I see pics from former students with a horse I found for them (even if they left unhappy or hating me)
I enjoy seeing students, now grown, giving the gift of horses to their kids.

I also want to just tell the universe....when it was laughing at me, treating my life like some kind of cosmic joke.....

I'm laughing.  I laugh every day (well almost every day).  I'm making new friends who without losing so much and having to make hard choices to protect the horses I love so much, I would have never met.  Friends like "warm cookies", "Goddess of Food P" & "Rawks".  I would not know the love of a senior who needed my smile and kindness and love.....who kissed my cheek and says, "Oh, I'm going to miss you.  I love you."

I'm laughing.  I'm loving.  I'm happy.