Big News!! Harley aka Cannine Therapist (almost)

Harley  aka Yellow dog is about to get a new nickname:  Canine Therapist.
He had his first test day today and he passed with flying colors. He spent the afternoon at the Missouri Vet's Home in St. James (after his initial test) and visited with the vets.  He was unphased by motorized wheelchairs, walkers, canes and totally ignored the birds in the flight cage. 

He's got his 2nd test day in a week and then he's only got one test left.  After that, he's off to work as a canine therapist.

Awesome day.  Amazing dog.

This Olde House

Recently, someone was making fun of our belief in ghosts.  Ok......believe what you want.  It doesn't change the fact we live in a house where things move around by themselves.

Our front door has several small window panes on either side of of it.  Then over the top of the door there are 4 windows as well.  All are covered by shutters on the inside.  You can open these to allow more light in.....they can be adjusted by the center post to tilt the slats up or down or perpendicular.  You can also open them completely. 

The ones over the door cannot be reached by standing on the floor.  You have to get a ladder. 

The 2nd shutter from the right often "opens itself".  We've simply gotten used to grabbing a chair and closing it.  It's not surprising to close it, go upstairs and come back down to find it open. 

I guess this was not enough.  Day before yesterday, the shutter to the left of the door as you are looking out of the house was open completely.  Not a single person in this house has ever touched that shutter.  I closed it because I don't like the fact when it is open, you can see straight into the dining room from the street. 

I have had to close it repeatedly....when home alone.

Yes, it's creeping me out just a bit..............

Stalking...What It Is & What It Isn't

In today's society, googling someone is as easy as typing in their name and hitting enter. 
But....is this stalking?  I suppose that depends on your frame of reference.  Personally, if someone wants to google my name and see what others have to say about me, more power to you.

However, I draw the line on some other things:

1. Taking my words from my blog or facebook page and posting them elsewhere without my permission............AND giving an interpretation of those words for me.
Here's my thoughts, if I post it on my facebook page, it's open season.  On my blog, I have stated it's copyrighted so using it without my permission elsewhere is infringing upon that.  I apply this logic to my pictures as well.  The lawyer I've spoken to seems to support this idea and since I've been able to get my pictures and words removed from other sites, he's apparently right.  This in itself if bad..........especially when the people doing this are trying to discredit me for whatever whacked out reason they have.  I'm not bothering anyone directly (well.......my mere presence on earth bugs a few people but unless I'm hit by a bus, there's not much to be done about this).  When someone takes my words and puts their interpretation on them, it really makes them look like they are a little TOO interested in me and it leans towards stalking.............especially since the people/person posting things has not spoken to me on been in my life (in some cases) for almost a decard.

2. Posting things about me that are just lies............or misinformation based on a situation that has changed.  Let me say this loud and clear:

I have closed my ranch.  I sold off the horses I didn't want to keep or did not have the space to keep.  I have my personal horses for my family's enjoyment.  I am not teaching lessons.  I am not training horses.  I am not doing recreational therapy at the ranch or any other kind of therapy.  I'm not training.  I'm not brokering or selling horses.  I'm not breeding horses.  We gave the sheep and pigs away as well.  This was a decision that was made during the summer and we have stuck to it.

With the exception of helping my best friend find a home for her horse & helping place an abandoned horse.........since I got rid of my stock, I have not had anything "professional" to do with horses.  While it is true, I have been asked by both the current sheriff's dept. for the county in which I reside and the local humane society to be a resource for them, it's a BOLD FACED LIE that we just closed up shop in one place and are running the same operation elsewhere.

Additionally, I would kindly ask that those of you who are running around, flapping your lips in the wind about us having 50+ horses on a dry lot, stop spreading these rumors.  Your research (aka stalking) skills need a little refining since we've not had 50 horses in over a year.  By the way, add this to your data base, WE MOVED.  The Montgomery County Sheriff's Department would love for you to stop calling them and making false police reports,.
 in the e
Funny aside, but related, in September while in the recovery room after surgery, Mr. P received a call from said sheriff's department concerning loose horses on Hwy 161.  The dispatcher was shocked when we told her that we have not been in that county with horses since May 2012 and the horses in that area are not our responsibility.  She then asked if we knew who owned them because they are running wild.  Nope......not our responsibility.  We moved away.

Now...stop the lies and stop posting them online.  This is stalking.

3.  Calling my former employer and reporting that I should lose my job because I am "unethical" for the "manner in which I treat my horses and clients".  This is stalking; and, the last time you did it, your number was recorded and turned over to the local police department.  I don't work where I did a year ago.  I work somewhere else doing a totally different job.  Also, for those of you who are stalking, when I worked for that former employer, I had nothing to do with horses.  This is an assumption on your part that because I was an "instructor" that I worked in Equestrian Studies.  WRONG-O again-o.  I never worked as an EQS instructor for anyone other than myself and two barns from 1999-2001.  You may want to re-read #1 and #2 at this point to bring yourself back up to speed.  REALITY CHECK AT THIS POINT:  this behavior....TRYING TO GET ME FIRED...is stalking.

4.  Sending threatening emails and "informational" emails with links to sites about me.....YES, THIS IS STALKING.  Now, I find it amusing since the person(s) who sent these to me have been accusing me of stalking them.  That would be true I suppose if i was emailing them, calling their place of employment, posting facebook comments about them, texting them, etc.........but, I have not even replied to any of these.  I simply print them out and hand them to my lawyer and the local police department.  For the record, IPs are trackable and when you send emails to me, it shows where it was sent from. 

5.  Calling my vets and pretending to be Little Bit or KT-Did.  THIS IS STALKING.  I got a very disturbing call from BOTH of my vets after someone claiming to be my girls called asking about specific horses and documentation.  Apparently the tech with one vet gave out some information.  The other vet receptionist is well aware that I don't usually ask for information.....she emails it to me.  When this phone call came in, she was very concerned and said that she would call me to verify the request.  The caller hung up but not before she recorded the number.  Yes, I know EXACTLY who did this.  She also sent a statement to the police about this.  For the stalker.....because I know you read this........I am not using the one vet anymore.  You won't have a clue what vet I am using and the 2nd vet has a password on my account now.  Yes...THIS IS STALKING

6. Driving past our home.  THIS IS STALKING.  Now.....because I'm sick to death of it, I'm putting it out here for everyone to read:  my home and the location of my horses have cameras on them.  You drive by, you are recorded.  You pull into the driveway, you're recorded.  You come up to the doors and try them, you're recorded.  The gentleman who lives on the property where the horses are kept, he has the entire place wired.  He calls us every time a vehicle that should NOT be there shows up.  Since we don't have students or lessons, etc, that excuse won't fly with him.  He's aware of the situation and calls me.  Oooops.  Perhaps you should stop driving by the house.  It's creepy. 

For someone who claims they don't want anything to do with me, you sure are interested in what I am doing!

For what is NOT stalking..........it's a shorter list.
Posting pics I took on my property on my own facebook page or my blog or anywhere else
Talking to my friends about my life
Telling people that you're not in my life
Writing anything I want without naming names

These are not stalking.......

Let's review...........you're engaging in STALKER-like behavior

I'm not.  Now shush and stop creeping on my blog!

Musings on More Manifestations

Living in an old house you expect to hear your share of creaks and feel a draft here or there.  You don/t expect to walk into a room and it's so cold in just that room you see your breath.  You don't expect to be waken up from a dead sleep because of slamming doors.  You also don't expect to have the dogs stare up at a specific spot on the ceiling in the living room and growl.  It's just not normal.

Now, while things have settled down IMMENSELY in our house since July and then again in October, it's far from "quiet" every day.   The mild stuff is footsteps up and down the stairs or the 2^nd shutter from the end on the row of shutters over our front door being opened up every day.  That is unsettling but doesn’t bother us in the scheme of things.  We’ve become used to those things.  We feel those minor occurences can be contributed to “the ladies of the house”.  Our LL claims he’s seen them; even been cared for by them, while growing up in this house.  He told us they would make sure he was not lonely, growing up as an only child, and they would see to his needs at night when he was scared and his parents ignored him.  We have felt the presence of these ladies here.  They have pulled the blankets up on chilly nights and have turned off the stove when we’ve stepped out of the kitchen to answer the door, preventing dinner from burning.  In fact, we are quite comfortable in the house.  These things don’t bother us at all.
There are other things that unsettle us…..and they have been on the increase of late.  Monday of last week, it felt like the kitchen was rebelling.  Pots and pans tumbled out of the cabinet and jumped off the counter.  I put them back and they jumped right back onto the floor (I kinda felt like I was in one of the paranormal activity movies).  The third time, Little Bit and I decided to let the kitchen rebel and we high tailed it out of the house.
The scent of cigarettes bothers us too.  I’m confident the ladies of our house were not smokers.  But, late at night, when we are sleeping, the smell of cigarette smoke is so strong, it wakes us up.  Yellow dog usually growls right before my nostrils pick up the scent.  Yellow dog doesn’t move.  He just growls. 
Then, there is Maggie Mae.  Mags is a young pup and seems to be a bit of a spaz.  However, she also seems to react to strange things.  Like the day I saw a shadow crawl across the living room and she chased after it, even once I couldn’t see it anymore.  She also fights with unseen things on our stairs.  She will get up and pad across the room, leaving Little Bit’s side, and then bolt to the stairs where she promptly attacks things we can’t see.  I’d chalk it up to some kind of mental issue except that Yellow Dog will sometimes go help her.  They also try to dig up the stairs.  They both with get up and with low growls will start digging on the landing.  YD will also slink up the stairs and growl.  Then, he will back down the stairs.
This bothers me.
Then, Thursday night, just as Mr. P crawled into bed, there was a loud slam from downstairs.  I’m sure it was the door into the new master suite; it shook the whole house.  Everyone jumped and YD began that low growling.  Mr. P investigated and came up with no answer.  The door was slightly cracked, not closed tightly.  The entire downstairs was secure, no open or unlocked doors.  Nothing was out of place or broken.  It was basically a phantom crash…….no explanation.  We did not sleep well that night.
The cold spots in the house bother me.  Our ladies don’t seem to have the same kind.  When they cover us up, there’s no noticeable chill or draft.  There certainly is not a bone chilling coldness accompanied by a breeze.  I woke up to see the curtains in our current bedroom fluttering.  The heating register is across the room and the ceiling fan does not make them move like that.  Yellow Dog was sitting up, staring at the curtains; he’d positioned himself between the curtains and me, hackles raised and his teeth bared….but no sound.  I was terrified and watched as the curtains moved from a flutter to more like a sheet flapping in the wind.  It was freezing in our room.  Then, as quickly as it started, the curtains went still and the room warmed back up.  YD relaxed and laid back down next to me.  But, I couldn’t fall back asleep. 
Presently, the house is still and comfortable.  Nothing moving around.  No bumps in the night.  The dogs have not been out of sorts and I slept like a baby last night.  But, the house has bothered Little Bit enough that she does not want us to move downstairs.  She’s afraid of the noises and things moving around. 
Good thing the master suite has a guest room off of it.  Anyone want to sublease the 2^nd floor of our house?

After putting up a picture on my facebook page, I had someone email me a very nasty email telling me that I cannot put pictures up because it contains something of "theirs".  This is not the first time this blow hard has tried this.........but not with me.

In fact, in 2008, 2009. and 2011, this person got off the wall crazy over pics of a public event in their paper and "permission" was not given.  Now, given the fact this person was told by law enforcement in 2006 that "when you are outside or at a public event, there is no expectation of privacy, if you don't want your picture taken, don't go outside of your home", you would have thought they "got it".  But.......when you live in a fantasyland where you are more powerful and prestigious than you really are (pssst...it's known as having delusions of grandiose).....I suppose it makes perfectly good sense to make threats........

It's also perfectly ok for me NOT to be shaking in my boots because I know the threats are idle. I also know that if I took a picture on my own property ....or in public......I have every right to take that picture and submit it anywhere I like.  As along as I am not defaming the person, I can even say what I want about my own picture.  I can even SELL it if I want to.

Hey......if the paparazzi can climb in trees to take pics, over fences, of stars and royalty as they are sunbathing nude in their own backyard and it's legal......I'm not going to go to jail for putting a picture I took on my facebook page or on this blog. 

Now, for shits and giggles, I am going to cut the head off of the people in the pictures I'm posting on here.  If you recognize the person, great for you.  If it's you, too damn bad.  Get over it & get over yourself............the cops are not going to arrest me for posting a picture I took. 

So, huff and puff and storm around like you have some kind of power.... You won't be able to sue me for a damn thing.  But rest assured, if you keep emailing me, it IS harassment.

Knock it off.

Now for the disclaimer...........the pics I'm posting may or may not have the person who is emailing me and threatening me in them.  I was posting these pics for myself.  Or for a friend.  A few weeks ago, I was posting barrel racing pics to support a friend's opinion when someone was slamming her online.  I have also posted pics of deceased horses for the rider or owner when I come across them.  Anyway......don't assume the person in the pics with their head cut off is the person.  I'm just posting some pics for the heck of it.

 See that pic up there ^ ?

It's of me and a good friend.

But now, unless you were there, you don't know which is which.

 This pic was taken in 2006

I owned this horse for 6 yrs.

Posted it for the new owner

He was curious about the horse's body condition

 My daughter's horse.

He passed away.

We want to remember him.

 Pic of a horse I have owned since 2007

Used in a timeline when we decided to sell her.

 Horse sent in for us to ride out during camps

Horse was sold for the owner

Rider got mad because the owner sold her own horse

 Horse owned since 2005

Tack is mine too

Posted for the family member who now has her

 Advertisement picture for our ranch back in 2010

Little black mare is Beauty.

We got her in 2005, unbroke & she's a hell of a horse

She and Oscar were both sold when we closed everything down

Pic was part of an online scrap book 

Pics look kind of stupid with those big white blocks don't they????  That's my point.  I'm not going to put up stupid pics when I have a PERSONAL reason for posting them.  And that reason is never to inflict harm.  

See???

Much better!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Brrrrr..........It's been a couple of really cold days right after 65 degrees on Friday.
What the heck?!?!?!?

I asked myself today, "Why do I still live in Missouri?"
For years, the answer was always tied to my ranch and the kids there.
Now??  It's my personal kids..........I don't want to be too far from KT-Did & LB has another full year of school. 

I do wonder why on earth I keep torturing myself by forgetting during the summer months just how horrible winter is?

Truth?  I forget :)

About The Books

If you've started reading 3M, you know I plan on promoting my books here.  Sadly, being so busy with work, Harley's training, and life in general as well as the exhaustion associated with those, the editing of the books is taking longer than I hoped.  I feel like they need to be tweaked just a little bit more.

It's undecided as to if I will write them under a pen name for the general public and for people in my life who don't read 3M. If I do go with a pen name, I will not release the name here.  But, for my 3M-ers, you'll know. :)

Content.....it's said if you want to be successful you do what you know.  This is true for the books I hope to publish.  I have taken pieces of real events in my life and incorporated them into my stories.  Sometimes its a single event that can inspire an entire work of fiction. Sometimes, it's a series of events.  Sometimes, a person in my life sparks it. 

I have changed names and places and descriptions but if someone sees themselves in one of my stories, that's on you.  I am not going to argue if it is or isn't.   More than likely, it's not and you are just seeing something in a character that reminds you of yourself.

Case in point, in 2010, I posted a comment on my FB page and the fallout from this comment was wide and vast.  The comment was innocuous.  I was very frustrated with a situation in my life, the comment had nothing to do with any specific person.  I made the comment and within minutes, someone thought I was talking about them.  Every part of the comment had **I** statements. "I'm feeling very pressured.  I'm very tired of taking the blame for things.  I feel completely overwhelmed right now."   Those statements did not point blame at anyone yet this person went completely BSC on my FB page.  She then blocked me from her page and started calling other people in my life asking if I was talking about her.  The emails she sent me were hilarious.  Her reaction to my comment and the actions she took afterwards were not.  A few weeks later, she called to apologize but the damage by then had been done.  Our friendship ended over an assumption.

Another way of looking at it is this way, in one of my books, I write about a "talented rider with fire red hair on a white horse with just as much fire in his belly as she had on the top of her head."
I had 3 riders at my ranch with red hair.....all talented.  Two of them rode white geldings (well "gray" if we are being technical) but my best friend is a strawberry blonde and rode a white gelding too.  She is also a talented rider.  I don't want to see any of these 4 people to think this character is based on them.  The truth is, the character is based on a girl I watched riding when I was boarding Jack out in Wentzville and riding trails.  I used to sit on a ridge and watch her fight with her gelding while he tried everything in his power to kill her.  He was not a white gelding but a jet black one.

I just want everyone to realize that I'm not talking about anyone in particular and maybe, everyone all at the same time.

Finally what some of you have been reading this for.............the books.
I'm still working on titles for a few so for now, I'm going to call them Book #1, #2, etc.  I've listed them in the order they were written, not how they will be published (if we get there) and a very short description of each.  I'd like to know which ones interest you all so please let me know!!

Book #1:  Marigold spends the summer caring for her aging aunt and through a series of small tragedies finds an inner strength she did not know she possessed.

Book #2:  A family deals with a malevolent spirit in their new home (this one took a long time to write and actually was finished after book #3)

Book #3:   An up and coming young horse trainer finds herself the center of a serial killer investigation after a client is found dead in her arena and another found dead in the stables of a show and the murder weapon is a tool of the trade in the equestrian world.

Book #4:  A woman reveals a two year affair through her journal and reflections on it.

For my last book, I'm just going to list the title (at least the one I want) and not the plot.
It's a teaser!!!!

Book #5:  "Lily Ungilded"

Hopefully, I can get at least one of these published in 2013.  Which one do you want to read???

Harley.....Canine Therapist

Harley has a job!!!!

As soon as all his paperwork is in order, he will start working in  the therapy program on the unit where I work.  I am completely thrill to be part of this new program.  It's so very exciting to think that in less than 3 months, I was able to facilitate this new program for our unit.

Later this month, Harley will go for his certification testing.  He's getting a royal blue and white vest proudly displaying where he works and that he is a therapist.  There are also talks of him working with some of the community marketing projects.

Harley's happy but was not.  About the time we moved, Harley began going through some transformations and not for the good.  He was running away......if the door was opened, he was darting out it where earlier he would just go with me.  He also began digging at his own body.  At first, I thought perhaps it was fleas but being treated with Capstar pills and on K9 Advantix II, that was not the problem.  He also was not sleeping through the night.  Until this started, he slept next to my side of the bed with his head directly under mine.  He'd begun sleeping in the all and prowling the house.  We know WHY he was doing this.  He was reacting to a very specific stimuli.  Once that was removed, the behaviors began subsiding.

Everything but the itching.  A trip to the vet revealed that Harley had been licking himself ...apparently due to stress & had developed a couple of skin conditions.  He also appears to be allergic to corn products.  Being able to give him a quiet home........without stimuli that upset him......monitoring his diet carefully......and putting him into training for his new job have all eased Harley's worries.

He's back to sleeping on my side of the bed......for most of the night.  Some nights, he jumps up onto the bed with me and snuggles up next to me.  Lately, he's been snoozing on the couch in the early morning hours after Mr. P heads out for work.  He's loving romps in the dog parks.  His favorite is the one in CoMo because it's got a lake for swimming.  He likes to run and jump off the highest point of the bank of the lake and swim to the other side.  We like taking walks and bumming around to stores for him to practice his skills.

 Exhausted after a long training walk

He's got a buddy now too.  Miss Maggie Mae.  He's a great big brother to her.  She's a rowdy, rambunctious, rough housing puppy.

He is very tolerant of her playing too rough and nipping him or pulling his ears.  But, he let's her know when he's had enough.  He puts her in check.   As I am typing this, they are playing tug of war with one of her squeaky toys.  Poor squeaky toy may end up meeting it's demise this evening.

Harley's a happy man and that makes me a happy yellow dog owner!

Laugh Often....Love Much

As many of you know, I've spent a decade and a half devoted to recreational horseback riding and bringing the love I have for it to others.  What many people don't know is that in 2000, we offered our first therapy classes.  I began giving recreational therapy lessons to 2 sisters who had been emotionally banged up by their dad.  Court ordered riding lessons paid for by the father through the court.

What many people don't know is that my history with recreational therapy started even earlier than that......in 1992 when I was the special camp programs coordinator for a Parks and Rec Dept. in the town where Mr. P & I were going to college.  He stayed home with Kt-did while I spent my summer making creating inclusive activities for special needs kiddos.  It was one of my favorite summers on record.  The day a child with DS got into the pool and some "townie kids" starting calling him names, the campers rallied around him, I knew recreational therapy was something I would have a future in.

Rec Th. helps not just kids who are having problems but gives those who are facing the every day stresses of growing up an outlet.  I loved it but because of the nature of handling horses, it was not a free for all.  There were rules and as long as you followed the rules, the recreation part came easily.  For the kids who had to challenge it, thinking somehow that recreation meant they got to call the shots.

I've been called some pretty awful things by disgruntled kids and parents.  It's ok.  I understand that they fear confrontation.  Funny thing, for those who left our ranch without stiffing us on board, training fees, unpaid camp or lesson tuition, or left us holding a vet or farrier bill we fronted for them.......for those parents, there was not a confrontation.  I remember a kiddo who did not want to leave but the parents wanted their horse closer.  They came to me 2 months before their move and asked if I could help them find the right place.  They paid me...UPFRONT....for the next two months board and lessons.  I busted my butt interviewing nearly 11 barns for them and finally they went to a barn where I could continue to teach their child for awhile.  This EXACT scenario happened not once, not twice, but several times.

I remember taking one of my student's horses home for them.  We spent months prepping and then once the horses were home, I continued as this kiddo's trainer for nearly a year.  There always comes a time when a student no longer needs you and I left with a hug.  Four years after I walked away, this family called me asking how to help their horse.....they didn't know who else to call......and they knew I would return the call and drive out in the middle of the night to help if need be.

I have driven to Ohio, Florida, North Carolina, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Illinois, Tennessee, and Kentucky to deliver students their horses when they have moved away.  Let's not even discuss how many trips I've made to some of the craziest locations to get a rider the perfect horse at a hell of a deal.

I have given horses away to children whose families could not afford them.  I have given thousands away in training and covering months when parents could not afford their horses' board.  I've paid vet bills out of pocket so a horse would not die only to have the family move their horse away in the middle of the night.

I've been accused of some pretty heinous things which are just standard operating procedures in the boarding world......mostly because I got tired of people taking advantage of me wanting to help their kiddos.  I've been called "scary", "mean", and "hateful" as well as accused of "stealing horses".  For the record, in the Great State of Missouri, if you don't pay your horse related bills when boarding, legally the person boarding the horse can sell the horse to cover expenses.  I have also been accused of "stealing" a horse when I was kind enough to give a student a payment plan and they just quit paying for the horse.  I had a student take a horse out of state when they had not finished paying for her.  Thank God my father found her before they killed her.  It was really amusing that she called me saying I'd be arrested for "moving stolen property across state lines" when I drove out of state to bring her home.  Sadly, she ended up being put down due to the horrific injuries she sustained while in the woman's care & her mind was blown.

Where am I going with this?  A dear friend and former student of mine told me "you are too nice.  You need to be meaner." (Huh? I thought I was mean, scary and hateful).  She always supported me when I had to stick to my guns concerning policies and especially money.

I have to ask any of my former students who are reading this:  where do you think the money came from when someone did not pay me for the board, lease, or vet supplies/visits etc???

Out of my pocket.

But that was okay I suppose.  I remember helping a kiddo get out from underneath a $300 promissory note for a horse because the horse had colicked.  He was thin when we picked him up but we had no idea the extent of his internal damage.  He had a prolapsed anus and ulcers from acorns he ate while being starved.  I paid for all the vet bills:  diagnostics running nearly $600.  I paid for the animal's euthanasia and personally drove the horse to the renderer using my own gas.  I even gave the kid a new horse.  How did this family thank me?  Let's just say they never did.  They never said "thank you" and just a few short weeks ago, the mother referred to me as "a monster".

Again.....where am I going?
To this point right here......because I believe in the validity of recreational therapy, equine therapy, and refuse to allow being kicked in the teeth change my nature.  I may be a hard ass when it comes to rules.  I may not back down when I've been financially abused for months & decide not to take it anymore.  But I also believe in not taking out my frustration with others on kids who come to me asking for help or who I see needing help.

In July when we closed our ranch, I could have easily sold two of our horses for over $1k each.  EASILY.  Instead, I gave them to a friend of Caroline's.  We wrote up the receipt.  The only hitch, if this family cannot keep them, they come back to us.

The 1st horse, I paid over $2500 to have shipped to us for our drill team.  She came off a slaughter truck and people chipped in to save her..........only to have no one want to pay her fees.  The decision by those who paid to have her pulled off a truck that she would be happy with us.  When Honkytonk died, this mare was to replace him.  But.....The young man shown with her wanted to learn about horses and wanted one really badly.  She could have brought us a nice chunk of change but instead, we gave her to a kid who needed her.  And loves her.

Her success has been shared over 2000 miles away

People across the country are cheering that this horse is with this kid.

She looks happy & healthy.

So the mare was not alone, we sent Joker along.

We even sent feed for the 1st few weeks.

And have asked nothing in return...........

other than for the horses to come back if they cannot ever keep them

I know there are some people who wonder why I didn't sell these horses, especially when I was out of work, the ranch was closed, and hay prices were on the rise.  I can't explain it.

It's the same reason why I gave this horse to a kiddo I barely knew.  He NEEDED a drill horse and this horse had been given to me specifically for a kid who needed a drill horse.  I was told this horse could be given to any child who needed the horse as long as the horse was used for drill and if the horse could not be used by the child, he came back to me and I would make sure he either stayed with me or was sent back to his owner.  When I made the decision to send this horse to the kiddo who now has him, I again was some kind of beast.  Apparently, someone else at my ranch had laid claim to this horse.........though they had other horses.........and I somehow "cheated them" out of this animal.  Worse even still, I apparently did it on purpose to hurt them.  Not true, our drill team had disbanded and I gave his previous owner my word that Tamale would be used by a child who needed him for drill.  I kept my promise to her & I am glad I did.  He is thriving in his new home and his owner was a perfect fit for him.  I am pretty sure he doesn't think I'm evil.

Just like the old adage "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", when it comes to a person's motives for any action, how someone views another is colored by their own character.  It's easy to blame someone else for your own actions.

I may not be running a ranch anymore and the horses we have left are going no where.  But the same idea of giving and offering help........genuinely offering...........is in my nature.  I'm not going to let anyone take that part of who I am away.  Maybe I'm stupid for it.  Maybe I am a fool.

But maybe....just maybe....I'm getting the last laugh...........because for every person who left unhappy, stiffing us on board, or whatnot........they left with skills they would not have if it had not been for my expertise and knowledge.

For those who have a horse under their saddle.........a horse I brokered or found for them, gave to them, sold to them, trained for them.....the last laugh lies in knowing they would not have that horse if it were not for me............

I hope this doesn't sound bitter....it's not meant to.
I'm happy.  Happier now than ever.
I have joy when I see pics from former students with a horse I found for them (even if they left unhappy or hating me)
I enjoy seeing students, now grown, giving the gift of horses to their kids.

I also want to just tell the universe....when it was laughing at me, treating my life like some kind of cosmic joke.....

I'm laughing.  I laugh every day (well almost every day).  I'm making new friends who without losing so much and having to make hard choices to protect the horses I love so much, I would have never met.  Friends like "warm cookies", "Goddess of Food P" & "Rawks".  I would not know the love of a senior who needed my smile and kindness and love.....who kissed my cheek and says, "Oh, I'm going to miss you.  I love you."

I'm laughing.  I'm loving.  I'm happy.

Live; Don't Just Exist

A long, long time ago, in a growing city in the midwest, a little girl was told by her middle school counselor that she "didn't relate well to her peers because she was too smart & if she wanted friends, she needed to dumb herself down".  13 yr old girls really want to fit in and have friends.  And with that guidance counselor telling that young lady weekly (something the little girl never shared with her mom....the fact the woman continued to call her in every Monday to tell her that her vocabulary alienated the rest of the kids)  The little girl believed the woman & her very flawed psychological advice and for the 4 years, she pretended to be mediocre & a silly, stupid girl.  Side note:  today, the behavior of some of the kids she went to school with would be categorized as bullying.

The advice obviously didn't work and the summer between her sophomore and junior year, she went away for the summer and met total strangers while she swam in Lake Table Rock, painted, & spent hours sunbathing in a lounger on a wrap around deck with hundreds of hummingbirds buzzing around and chipmunks scurrying around.  It was during this summer, the summer of solitude, only having an aging aunt & the kids who pulled up to the boat deck in their boats and invited her to ski, swim, & hang out.  She got bit by an alligator garr (still has the scar) and her dreams of becoming a marine biologist began to fade.  She wrote her first book while laying on the dock.  It's still unpublished but that could change!! When she went back to school in the fall, she was a different girl.

She quit just existing and quit caring what other people thought.  It was this new girl who had the guts to approach her now husband (Nah, I'm telling you the details).  This girl, who didn't care, began truly living.  It's also when she developed her bluntness.  Some people say it's rude; she believes it's merely to the point.

It was not until the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" came out that she really understood the battle she'd been fighting for years with people.  Miranda Priestly was dogged for treating business like a man would.  It was this uncompromising demand for her business and her personal life to be in HER control that made some people call her names and dislike her.  But, she was not just existing, she was living her life.

I know you have figured out this girl is me.  I've been called some pretty awful things by people who CHOSE to enter myself and then didn't like that I MADE the rules for my life.  Yes, I have told people, if you don't like it, there is the gate, latch it on your way out, don't let it hit you in the ass, & don't ever come back through it.

I've told someone I love to leave me the hell alone and only after nearly 3 yrs of space, was I ready to deal with them.  For almost 26 years, I have been kind but very firm; blunt and stand my ground.  I was "Living"

Yet, when the university let me know 2 days before my contract ended (though I had a new one for the next year signed), I made the decision to close our ranch, and I was informed that I was some kind of devil worshiping abusive monster.....I went into a merely existing mindset

In September, about 6 weeks after being unemployed and after going on nearly 45 interviews, I was offered a job.  I was thrilled and excited.  I felt a little bit of my "life" coming back.  I knew it would be a new life but I was good with the changes.  Until the director of the company called me in during training to tell me that I was "intimidating" the trainers because I "was smarter and I needed to dumb myself down to get through the training."

I was for a moment back in that guidance counselor's office.  But, unlike that unhappy girl, her words found the "living" part of me and the blunt, bold woman I'd been for the last 2 decades of my life came screaming back to the surface.  I explained the facts of life to the director and though we were seriously hurting for money, I walked away from that job.  I don't compromise on my life.  It's not in my nature.

As it turns out, walking instead of cowering, LIVING instead of existing has set me free.
Like I said yesterday, I'm happier now than I have been in over 2 yrs.  I didn't realize I was unhappy until real happiness hit a few short weeks ago.

I'm exhausted when I get home from work.  I hardly have time to do much when I'm working my 40 hour weeks.  For the weeks when I'm at work for 12 hrs or 15 hrs, it's almost impossible to do anything but work.  However, I find peace in writing when I do have time and I love the time I have with my family.  While certain freedoms have been lost, the things I am gaining far outweigh those.

I also have a job in which my intelligence is utilized. 
I'll always struggle with people who find me bossy, intimidating, controlling, and a bitch.
Good thing I'm not afraid to ask someone to leave and close the door behind you. ;)

Here's my bossiness for the day, friends.
Find a way to LIVE, don't just exist.

Maxim

For those of you who used to follow this blog, I had someone file a complaint about the content, stating that I was "slandering" them.  Then, all my content went "POOF"!!  I get emails about how I talked badly about someone and blah blah blah.....whine whine whine....drama and angst.

Funny given I don't use names.  This person also took copyrighted words & placed them elsewhere.  I guess it's okay for people to steal from me.  It's a recurring theme.

I totally respect Abby Miller from "Dance Moms".  If you have never watched it, check it out.  I completely relate to her.  She's a bad ass coach & the best quote I've ever heard "They need to keep their mouths shut and let me do my job."  Rock on, Abby!  Ha 2nd greatest quote:  "Why do I attract all the crazy ones."  HA HA HA HA. 

In the description, I explained what this blog is about.  The internet has been used repeatedly by people who don't like me or get pissed off at me to try to abuse me or defame my character.  It's now time for me to use the internet to my benefit.  I explained the use of the word "mistress" in my old blog and again here.  Mistress is the married woman of the home & an animal owner.  Which I am both.  I enjoy using archaic meanings with modern words.

Maxim:  A succinct formulation of a fundamental principle, general truth, or rule of conduct.
This is my place to share my general truth.

I'm excited about the books.  E-publishing is the way to go.  What can I say?  "Buy the Book".  When it's ready, you can find the links right here as I will be using this as one major way to promote them!

For the maxim in our life, the last 6 months have been such an eye opening unbelievable ride.  We are happier now than we have been in years.  This is not reflection of people who were in our lives (well not ALL of them) but a pivotal event set in motion of chain of events which we just had to go through.

I have to say my family and my best friend in the whole world have helped us immensely.  I also need to say that friends that I have never met face-to-face were there for me.  I am going to thank them here....very publicly.....because I don't think they realize how much they mean to me.  Long phone calls to Jes out in the PNW and her teasing me about that "funk" when I went into the hospital.  She checked on Lady Eve daily after the copperhead bit her.  I adore Helen who has been my friend and supporter for 4 yrs now.  I LOVE her dearly and enjoy our message chats about the evil internet trolls of the world.  Darling Debbie and her Haffie.  I love the way she pushes for helmet safety and gets razzed over sharing her opinion.  She makes me smile and laugh and I love her for this!!  Sam Sam Sam.  When I need someone to make me feel like I am amazing, you do it.  You and my horse have more in common than just the name because of this.  I appreciate your friendship and your random texts.  Dody, one of my biggest regrets is not being able to swing by when we were in NC.  I hope we can ride together soon and your out of the blue phone calls, likes on FB, and internet hugs always come when I need them.  Pssst, if I could swing it, some very handsome man would be living in my barn not yours.  I'm sure there are some I am missing and I apologize for that.  But I have to tell these people how much their influence & support & love have meant to me over the years and months.

I also need to thank someone who has been in my life for a very long time.  He told my mom that he feels I am a talented writer and he liked the old blog. With those words, Uncle Ralph made up for the lima bean incident.  I hope he enjoys the new one.  His kind words and compliment meant the world to me....almost as much as his grits and sausages & biscuits.  Ain't nothing in the world like Southern cooking.


Now for the latest "maxims" in my life:
Eve survived a copperhead bite.  We had a nerve wracking 4 days waiting to see if she envenomated and would die of a heart attack.  Then, her recovery began.  We captured everything through photos and will be posting them at some point.  My angel horse sure needed those wings.

My years of running the ranch and experiences as a recreational camp instructor and working rec. therapy have paid off.  I have an amazing new career that is challenging and rewarding and never gets dull.  It's totally different than anything I have done before.  It's so cool.  

Yellow Dog has a job interview on Thursday with the COO of a hospital to become its canine therapist.  He is kind and loving and has been training hard for this position.  The big question is "Should he wear a tie to his interview or just his collar?"

Little Bit posted validation that we are moving in the right direction.  She is flourishing here and though we have our up days and downs (just like all parents and kids), she's happier now than ever.  We found a terrific arena and barn to ride at.  For us, it was so strange to step into the arena and NOT be in charge.  It was also exhilarating.  For the 1st time in I don't know how long, I get to focus on MY child.  I get to ride along next to her, chatting and riding.  We got massive compliments on how well behaved our horses are and how well trained they are.  We rolled in, unloaded, tacked up, rode, trailered out.  It was just amazing.  Our plans are to spend as much time together riding as we can!

Finally, family fun days.  Once a week, we are trying to do things as a family and just enjoy the blessings we have together.

3M is back.